Things I Learned From My Students #12: New Year Exams

The first few weeks of term have been taken up with AS, and then A2 exams. I think my classes are now back to normal, or at least our rather unique definition of normal. This is what I've learnt so far this year.

1. I genuinely look five years younger than my actual age. Whether this is down to the blue hair, baggy jeans, slogan t-shirts, willingness to swear like a navvy with piles, or simply a decent combination of phenotypes, I do not know.
   
2. This makes me a TILF. Yes, I have officially been called a TILF.
   
3. I'm actually really chuffed at being referred to as a TILF.
   
4. Regardless of their feelings towards me, I still can't get my horny little students to submit their bloody coursework proposals.
   
5. Four drunken Australians are no match for a single pissed Scottish student, yet the roles are somewhat reversed if there are 15 of each and they're sober.
   
6. Beakers are an awesome vessel to use for doing shots, since they come in 25ml and 50ml versions.
   
7. If my colleagues knew half of what goes on in the Biology lab they'd be horrified.
   
8. I'm creating a generation of biological sciences students who expect their lecturers to bake flapjacks for them before each exam.
   
9. The promise of being taken for a meal at Nando's is quite an incentive to A2 students to get A*-B on their exam.
   
10. I must have been an awesome cub scout leader when I was younger.
    
11. There is an awful lot of hatred towards Hypnotoad, the lab frog.
    
12. Fortunately there are enough students who adore Hypnotoad and his baleful stares that he's safe from the dissecting dish.
    
13. Students really want to dissect more stuff.
    
14. Eyeballs are the exception, however.
    
15. Students can be bribed to do pretty much anything in return for pizza.
    
16. I've become one of those really sad old teachers who enjoys hanging out with her students.
    
17. My students assure me that's okay because they think I'm closer in age to them than I am to my colleagues.
    
18. Few things have elicited such a horrified reaction from my students than my revelation that I quite like the Black Veil Brides.
    
19. The University of Oxford doesn't know what it's missing.